Dear Subscriber First Name

“Oh god, he’s not going to tell us another running story is he?” I ‘sort of’ heard being whispered….

Me (deep in thought): “they can’t be talking about me, can they?”

Me (again): “Hands up who’s heard of lactic acid and plyometric dynamic stretching? Anyone?”

As I stood in the classroom circa 2010 supposedly helping a roomful of youths overcome common youthful challenges like depression, body image issues and substance use….(as opposed to exercise physiology)

“Be more interested than interesting” - I’ve since worked out. If only I held such wisdom back then….

So whilst I’ll try not to indulge you in yet ‘another’ running story, I will share with you my recent experience of my own schemas whilst running my some-teenth marathon at the weekend…

Have you ever?

…done something genuinely great - totally nailed a difficult meeting, finished a huge project, or maybe just survived a a really stressful week - and immediately found yourself focusing on the one tiny imperfection?

Maybe you felt that moment of relief, then your mind started picking at the thread: 'The presentation was good, but the data slide could have been better.' Or, 'The launch was successful, but I should have started earlier.'

I had this exact, infuriating experience last weekend - before, during and (especially) after I completed the marathon.

And while it’s always a massive achievement, regardless of how many I’ve run - that voiced in my head took the wheel. Damn you!

For the next hour, I didn't celebrate the accomplishment; I obsessively picked apart the time I didn't hit.

Then came the first text message: 'What was your time?'

I told them. Though if i’m honest, it wasn’t with any obvious glee and from memory was bookended with “I was cooked at 30km” and “my hip played up again”.

Would they even know what that means? Or give a hoot?

Yep. Even after running a marathon, I immediately defaulted to picking apart the one thing that fell short, completely ignoring the fact that I just ran a marathon.

Fast Forward a day or two….

I decided to take a day off to rest (big tick for doing that!), and was mucking around on my webisite, when I noticed this screen grab off my OWN homepage….

then this…

Bloody hell!

To quote Alf Stewart: “stone the crows!”

Yep, even with a Schema awareness axe as sharp as mine, I can still be as guilty as the next person of letting that 'side' of me take control and push me around, whilst ignoring my achievements!"

The Job Now: Finding the Healthy Adult

So, if my inner critic is running the show moments after I achieve something massive, what's the real work?

The job for me now and maybe for you - is to find my way back to the Healthy Adult mode.

What does that look like? It's the part of us that:

• Acknowledges the Effort: Instead of judging the time, the Healthy Adult simply states, "I trained for months, and I completed a marathon." (It focuses on the effort and the process, not the outcome's grade.)

• Sets Boundaries: It accepts that work is done for the day without the self-critical need to check late-night emails.

• Offers Compassion: It gently reminds the Unrelenting Striver that they are enough, regardless of the external validation, because the performance has no inherent ceiling.

The Healthy Adult sees the finish line and says, "That was fantastic. Let's celebrate,"

Now let’s have a beer and relax :)

One Last Thing Before You Run!

If the idea of that Unrelenting Striver making all the decisions resonates a little too loudly with you (trust me, I get it), I'd love to invite you to dig deeper with me.

I'm hosting an upcoming Schema Coaching Masterclass - Your Inner Scripts: Come backstage and meet the band where we'll explore exactly how these internal patterns hijack your professional performance and, most importantly, how to consciously shift into that powerful Healthy Adult mode.

Til Next Edition - Run Happy!

You can reach me below, or simply hit reply and I’ll reach out to you (in a week or so!):

• Visit the website / Book a call 📱

• tim@schemacoaching.com.au 📧

Looking forward to connecting!