Dear Subscriber First Name

Last week, we delved into the powerful Schema Challenge Card, illustrating its effectiveness with Jess's journey in tackling perfectionism and finding work-life balance. I hope you had a chance to explore it yourself and perhaps even fill one out.

If not, here’s Jess’ Schema Challenge Card and a copy for you to practice with:

Jess Schema Challenge Card

Schema Challenge Card blank template

I'd love to hear about your experience – did it bring any surprising clarity?

If you haven't yet, I highly encourage you to give it a go. It's a simple exercise that can yield profound clarity.

This week, I want to continue our discussion on the Schema Challenge Card by sharing another personal example.

How personal?

Well, i’m going to share a of a few of my own schema challenges and walk you through a Schema Challenge Card I completed.

Call it my ‘Michael Mosely moment’ (bless him), though it doesn’t involve swallowing thermal imaging cameras or ingesting tapeworms… but I figure I should practice what I preach.

So here goes!

Current Situation and Feeling: My Schema challenge card details an age old habit of mine: comparing myself to others.

That feeling of "shuddering with embarrassment!" when I put something out there, and then comparing my work to the work of others in the most disparaging of ways!

I might tell myself mine is ‘crap’ or I don’t know what i’m doing by comparison to everyone (yes everyone) else. Harsh much!?.

Identification of Schema(s) & Origins: This reaction points straight to my "Approval Seeking & Fear of Failure" schemas. If I think about it now in ‘lay-mans’ terms, this likely equates to “tell me i’m good enough” and “just give up”.

As the Challenge card shows, these likely stemmed from a childhood where praise was rare, and success was often met with surprise, making me feel "lucky". My distortion? Believing others are ALWAYS better, I've failed (as usual) and disapproval is imminent (and a given) - i should just quit. Ouch!

Reality-Testing: The beauty of the Challenge card is forcing a reality check. Despite my inner critic screaming "give up, you’ve failed!”, the evidence is undeniable. My challenge card lists a history of regular positive feedback, people seeking my help, and achievements like family, home, marathons, and business. Plus, I'm "admired and loved by my wife and children" – definitely not a flop!

Suddenly the current begins to slow, and even turn a little…

As you can see, even as a Schema coach, I'm constantly engaging with my own schemas. The process of identifying the triggers, tracing the origins, and consciously shifting to healthier responses is an ongoing journey.

You know what? sharing all that wasn’t so scary, and might’ve just debunked my schemas a little bit more….

Thanks for being part of the journey :)

So What's Next?

Debunking the "Problem Child" Myth: Schema Coaching is for Everyone

It's easy to assume that because Schema Coaching "targets" people with workplace challenges, it's aimed at the office "problem child." This couldn't be further from the truth.

Schema coaching is about helping everyone – no matter where they are in their working lives – to be their brilliant, talented self. Why? Because we all have schemas!

So let’s get into that next time.

Of course until then, I’m ALWAYS up for a chat if you’re curious, stuck, or just want to know more about schemas and how coaching can help you be your most brilliant self.

Thanks for reading!

Tim :)

Schema Coaching - Go Deeper